I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
