There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
