The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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