Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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