i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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