dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
