I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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