I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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