i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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