that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
