Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
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I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
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Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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