Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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