How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
