So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
