i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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