i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
