i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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