you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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