I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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