it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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