I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enjoy the penises
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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