Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
