you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
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I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
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Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Damn victory sex feels great
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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