Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
