i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
