Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
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Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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