Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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