if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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