so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
