It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
