She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize