very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
