New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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