No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
