think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
