Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
