his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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