I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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