My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize