I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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