I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
