Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
