You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
