just tell him i said nine months
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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