whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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