I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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