I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
