my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
