I'm so fucking centered right now
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
