She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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