is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
the liver wants what the liver wants
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
