girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize