Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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