Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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