On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize