sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i now understand why vodka
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
