all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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