no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
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the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
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i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize