I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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