Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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